Arlene Steele Simmons

Mary Arlene (Steele) Simmons died peacefully on Sunday, November 28, 2021, after a brief illness at her ‘second’ home in Chino Hills, California with family at her side. Though her heart gave out, Arlene was reasonably healthy and retained a very sharp mind right until she took her last breath.

Suddenly and unexpectedly at age 90, Arlene decided on cremation, with her ‘final resting place’ being her ashes left with family. Arlene also chose NOT have a funeral per se, and her wishes have been granted. Since no funeral will take place, this obituary will be in more detail than is normal, so that Arlene’s family and friends will have a bit more insight and knowledge about Arlene’s life. A ‘memorial service’ is planned possibly in 2022 at Priceville Memorial Gardens cemetery on North Feemster Lake Rd in east Tupelo, Mississippi, at the grave marker of Arlene’s first child Paula Charlotte; family and friends will be notified.

Arlene was born on July 1, 1930 to Relder Aubrey Steele (previously ‘Stahl’, but ancestors changed the spelling due to anti-German sentiment) and Euretha ‘Retha’ May Steele (nee Crouch) in the rural farming community of Whitton near Tyronza Arkansas, during The Great Depression. Arlene’s early life was no bed of roses while growing up dirt poor during the horrible depression years with World War II and its aftermath looming just around the corner. Finding work led to relocating the family to Ypsilanti Michigan, Marietta Georgia, Tupelo MS, and Itawamba County MS.


Arlene’s four younger siblings are: Charles ‘Chuck’ Aubrey Steele (1932 – 2010 d. Cathlamet WA); William Ray ‘Anaheim’ Steele (1935 – 2008 d. Tupelo MS); and Charlene Frances Woods (1937- living Dolan Springs AZ, husband Bob); and Pauline (‘Aunt Polly’) Steele Hagen (1939 - living in Hood CA, husband Gary, deceased).

Arlene’s father was a stern, hard-working, and dedicated father, always wanting his 5 children to be with him. Long separated from his wife, Arlene’s father and his 5 children, moved around the country as needed for gainful employment. During these periods, Arlene was in effect the mother to her 4 younger siblings, and vividly recalled cooking many family meals on a wood-fired stove.

Arlene graduated from East Tupelo High School (now Lawhon School) in East Tupelo, MS in 1947, and then her parents divorced in April 1948. Arlene married Richard Simmons in Tupelo MS on November 6, 1948. Shortly thereafter, her father and 4 siblings permanently relocated from Tupelo MS to Garden Grove in southern California, near Los Angeles, and her mother Retha moved to Arkansas and remarried.

Arlene had six children: Paula Charlotte Simmons 1949-1949; Linda Carol Rohnke 1950- living in Jackson MS; Jesse Rickey (Rick) Simmons 1951 – living in Azle TX, wife Leslie; Connie Jeff Simmons 1955 – living in Raymond, MS, wife Bettye; Larry Alan Simmons 1960- living in Fullerton CA, wife Mary; and Jana Annette Stanton (1962- living in Chino Hills CA, husband Jim).

In 1968, Arlene’s marriage to Richard ended due to his ongoing but losing battle with alcohol and anti-depressants (a battle he did win a few decades later), and her mother was killed in a train-vehicle accident in Marked Tree Arkansas. Arlene herself only began driving a car in the mid-70s.

Being a bit of a straight-laced Southern Belle, Arlene herself only had only one alcoholic drink during her entire 91+ years, only used foul language once or twice, and took no prescription drugs during any of her 6 pregnancies.

Affectionately, Arlene was known to close family and close friends as ‘The O. L.’, a term coined by her children as a somewhat nicer version of ‘My Old Lady’ or ‘The Old Lady’, as she was often referred to by her soon to be ex. Indeed, eventually the name ‘O L’ made its way into parts of some of Arlene’s online user names, passwords, post card addresses, and even Facebook. Her actual first name of ‘Mary’ was not a favorite name, and was never used unless forced to so by a commercial or governmental entity. No one seems to know why Arlene’s nickname as a child was ‘Lucy’.


Arlene worked in several clothing factories (Hunter Sadler Clothing, Plantersville Sportswear, Blue Bell, Inc, Reed Manufacturing Co Inc) in/near Tupelo back in the day in Mississippi, where she cut cloth, stitched seams, and applied buttons and zippers to many items of clothing including Levi’s pants, Wrangler jeans, and Wrangler shirts. Making cardboard boxes at Hoerner Box company on South Green was probably Arlene’s favorite sweatshop type job, before she landed a more cushy job as an operator and directory assistance specialist at BellSouth/AT&T in Tupelo MS. Arlene ultimately transferred with ‘Ma Bell’ to Jackson MS in 1980. Arlene purchased a home in south Jackson MS in 1985 where she lived until and after her retirement in 1992. Arlene also purchased a small ‘second’ home in the Lake Los Serranos Club over-55 community in Chino Hills CA in 2007, after which she shared her time about 50-50 between Mississippi and California to be closer to family and friends, until the most recent three years or so reduced her travelling.


The never forgotten difficulties of The O L’s early years were always just below the surface, yet were rarely mentioned due to Arlene’s introverted nature. The loss of her first child Paula Charlotte (born 3 months premature weighing a mere 2 lb and 5 oz due to Arlene’s unfortunate fall at Tombigbee Lake State Park) and her mother dying at age 60 in a horrific vehicle-train crash in Arkansas forever haunted Arlene. But she did find great solace and happiness later in life by working hard for many years to gain complete financial independence, by enjoying family and friends, and by traveling extensively and just being a tourist. To that end, Arlene travelled all over the United States and world, visiting Alaska, Australia, France, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Key West FL, southeast Asia, Scotland, England, and London several times, just to mention a few places, and even took a few ocean and river cruises. A very special short trip found Arlene at Hermosa Beach CA in 2018 to see her favorite comedian live, Jay Leno at The Comedy and Magic Club. Arlene was also a voracious reader of books, fiction and non-fiction, often knocking off a book in a day, certainly reading thousands of books in her lifetime.

Arlene was a master of crossword puzzles and the various word games available on the iPad, not to mention her being legendary at winning at games such as Bingo, Bunco, and Uno, all while sitting back quietly and seemingly being aloof and not paying attention, and then swooping in for the kill to take everyone’s money, each time to everyone’s chagrin and amazement! These wins would give Arlene great pride and joy, and bring out a big smile and great laughter from Arlene’s usually reserved nature and dry sense of humor.

Not surprisingly, Arlene was quite the cook of ‘old southern food’ such as cornbread, black-eyed peas, turnip greens, poke salad, green beans, butter beans, ham, biscuits and gravy, biscuits with warm chocolate syrup, fried okra, banana bread, blackberry pie, icebox fruit cake, German Chocolate Cake, and the like. Though she never once in her entire life ate any seafood, catfish, oysters, or shrimp, she was actually quite the accomplished cook for these items, particularly fried catfish, fried oysters, and boiled shrimp. While in Southern California, Arlene enjoyed dining out with family and friends, in particular going to the Black Angus Restaurant, Flo’s Chino Airport Cafe, The Soup Plantation, and Mrs Knott’s Chicken Dinner Restaurant. In Jackson, Arlene liked to frequent the Cock of the Walk Restaurant, and now defunct restaurants such as the legendary Elite Restaurant, Tai Hong, and Po’ Folks. In East Tupelo, Arlene always enjoyed a sandwich at the Elvis made famous Johnnie’s Drive-In Restaurant.

Always looking for a good deal whether she needed the item or not, Garage Sale and Thrift Shop shopping was a real pleasure for Arlene, usually picking up glass items, dolls, jewelry, or anything with the color pink or purple in it. Also in recent years and as recently as mid-2021, an enjoyable hobby had ‘Mama’ showing her good value shopping deals of food and merchandise on her daughter Jana’s YouTube channel ‘Mrsemptynester’, with their videos being viewed and enjoyed by thousands.

A secret only revealed in her senior years was that Arlene was an avid supporter of Ole Miss Rebel sports; she very much enjoyed the movie ‘Blindside’; and didn’t care for Mississippi State teams at all. Arlene was also an avid home vegetable gardener, often growing her own tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, okra, cantaloupe, and the like. Additionally, Arlene loved plants, flowers, and wildlife, and would always prefer a slow trip down the Natchez Trace Parkway over a faster route on interstate or state highways. Cats were Arlene’s much preferred domestic pet. Arlene always remembered birthdays of close friends and family members, and faithfully sent greeting cards or text message, or made phone calls, but did not like e-cards.

From Arlene’s 6 children, there came 9 granddaughters and zero grandsons: Misty Heyden of Riverside CA, husband Scott; Skye Crosby of Harrodsburg Kentucky, husband Gene; Kerry Gilmore of Redlands CA, husband Jeff, Janelle Croft of Harrodsburg Kentucky; Dr Elizabeth Simmons of Bartlett TN, Mary Margaret (Simmons) Hofer of Collierville TN, husband Adam; Shannon Stanton of Tucson, AZ; Shelby Stanton of Chino Hills CA; and Nicole Simmons of Fullerton CA. Arlene also has 10 great-grandchildren.

RIP Arlene.